don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
thus making me awesome and them whores
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Sober January is a disaster.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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