Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
