Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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