Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
