if you like me you must not know who I am
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
