Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
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If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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