I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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