i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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