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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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