Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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