Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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