i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
