I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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