cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
