Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my shit smells like andre
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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