can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
