I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize