i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
