i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize