Sry I called you an 8
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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