we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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