Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
