508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
