Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
