Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish you could order shots online.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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