Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize