Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
