There is no way he is gay with that hair.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Terrible idea I love it
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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