that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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