somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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