Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
