Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
