so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize
