It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
