Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect