found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
