I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
