Pappa wants mamma naked
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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