I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
