it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize