i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
