i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
