I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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