I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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