Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
