Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
