Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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