I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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