I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There r osticjed everywhere
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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