No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
