when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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