If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
