time to smoke my breakfast
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
