Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize