Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
