just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
